Just finished balancing my check book and reviewing the financials. Created some goals so I’ll have enough money to cover some big expenses coming up in the next couple of months. My goal is start saving $100 a week to cover these big expenses.

First, there is that red light camera ticket I got in Dec. 2011 is about $600. Since I don’t have time to do community service, I’ve got to suck it up and just pay the damn thing. I guess that’s just the price I have to pay for being an honest citizen. I should have threw that shit in the mail, and ignored it altogether. Or I should have pleaded not guilty. Instead, I said no contest, which I guess mean’s guilty by default. I definitely had grounds for fighting my case in light of photographic evidence. But it’s too late now. What’s done is done, and now I owe $600 for being honest. Fuck me.

Then I got a cell phone ticket for using my cell phone as a map navigator, and that’s going to cost me $160. I also promised my kid brother I’d take him to Disneyland–he’s hold me up to my promise by asking me when we are going almost every time I see him, so I want to save up a few hundred so I can spend some quality time with my little brother. He’s about six now, I think. Then I really want to go see 311 in concert this August. I go almost every year so I don’t really want to break the tradition just because I’m running low on dinero. And I also want to buy four tickets this year instead of two because, well, the more the merrier. I’m sure who ever comes with me will pay me back, but I’m not buying them trying to make a profit, I’m buying them to create a shared experience between myself a few good or maybe even new friends. Basically I want to save up at least $1000 within two months…

Now anyone who knows me knows that I can’t save a dime for the life of me. So this is going to be a challenge in itself. Normally, this goal would seem impossible when I am just working hourly jobs with no opportunity for income growth. However, I just started working a job that provides me with commission. I’ve never really had a commission job before because I honestly didn’t think I would hack it in the sales world, but I’m actually doing pretty good. During my first month, I helped generate $8,000 in revenue. Ten days into my second month, and I have almost doubled my first month performance with $15,000 in revenue. And I get commission of that shit! If I keep meeting my weekly sales goals, I have estimated that I will be making about how much I need to be making to reach my income goals. I kind of have hope again.

My student loans are on the verge of being sent to collections any day unless I can make a payment this month, which I totally can once one of my payments clears from the blogging job. I’m finally starting to find my way out of this grave I dug for myself years ago when I was stupid and erratically careless with my money.

I wish I could write more about what I’m feeling right now–this new sense of power and hope all rolled into one–but I need to work on some very important writing projects for myself. Neither assignment pays, but you know what I realized? My writing is my marketing, and if it wasn’t for all my free writing, I wouldn’t have the same opportunities I have today. The beauty of my marketing method is that I don’t have to pay for it. It’s free in exchange for my time. And I make the time for it because I know that the payoff will be amazing. It may not be today, tomorrow, next week or next month, but in time, all this sweat equity will be well worth it.

Oh, the things I am willing to do to put things into perspective for people…

Last night, I met up with a Russian swinger couple meeting a Brazilian swinger couple for the first time after exchanging numbers with each other on a swingers lifestyle social networking site. I actually met the Russian couple from the same website. They know I am a newbie to the Lifestyle so they invited me to tag along on their meeting with the Brazilian couple to make me feel more comfortable. I was basically the fifth wheel “unicorn” (single females in the Lifestyle are as rare as unicorns) meeting both of these couples for the first time who were also meeting each other for the first time.

I could tell neither couple was interested in the other, but I wasn’t quite sure where I fit into the whole swing of things. Pun totally intended. I wasn’t exactly interested but I also wasn’t entirely disinterested either. I was curiously amused more than anything.

Perhaps I am just really good at feigning interest in things thanks to my natural curiosity, but both couples ended up wanting to meet me alone in a more intimate environment. I got text messages from both couples this morning when I woke up saying with comments about how they didn’t like the other couple, but they liked me. I swooped in, charmed them through a glass of wine, and I swooped out like a ninja. I have a tendency for fleeing the scene before things get beyond awkward for me.

I haven’t decided how far I will take things to learn what I want to learn. Last weekend, I visited a swingers club for the first time and ended up in a dungeon for the BDSM swinger community by mistake. I was told there that the perfect introduction into the Lifestyle for a newbie like me would be Plush parties. My next assignment: Hit up a plush party next weekend.

Who will be my partner in crime? Will my trusted companion be a man or a woman? It’s free for single ladies but men have to pay or show up with a partner.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

So I’m kind of seeing this guy I met online for almost two weeks now and on our fourth date this week, he literally said “hint, hint” when mentioning his birthday coming up next week. I get that I’m supposed to take a hint, but I’m not sure what exactly I’m supposed to do with that hint. Does this mean I have to buy him a gift or plan him a nice dinner?

This is weird. I’m so not used to this. The dating game is one thing, but the relationship game is a whole new ballpark for me. Wait…is this the beginning of a new relationship? Whaaaa-waaaa-woah. I thought this birthday stuff only matters when you’re in an exclusive or committed relationship. I was honestly just planning on sending him a thoughtful birthday text, but now I’m thinking I need to step up my game here. Wait, what is going on here? Am I really having this conversation with myself? What the hell!?

I consulted the bestie and the brother and both of them said that I should probably take the hint and do something nice for him. Hmmm…If I don’t, does that mean no date five? How much do I really like this guy? LoL.

After pondering this supposed hint I should be taking, I decided to set myself a budget based on some quick mental calculations of how much money was spent during our dates. He paid for our drinks on three out of four dates. I paid for drinks on only one of our dates. If I’m applying the principle of balance here, I’ve estimated that the least I can do for him is a nice fancy dinner. OMG, I can’t believe I’m even thinking about this.

I am treading new waters here. If you were in my shoes, would you take the hint or would you ignore it?

How funny. Shortly after watching the film adaptation of The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, I decided to update my blog’s tag line to reference The Hunger Games because my battle with student loan debt feels like a real, modern day Hunger Games. Then I came across an editorial on Salon.com that was just too good not to share because it was comparing Suzanne Collin’s novel to our current economic situation as a country and how we are sacrificing young soldiers in our own modern day Hunger Games. The editorial also insinuates that innovative young adult novels like these may very well be a foreshadowing of what the future has in store for us. To read this great article click on this link about America’s real Hunger Games.

A classic dating moment captured on film

When it comes to one-night stands, everyone has their own etiquette or protocols that they follow. Dating in Los Angeles can be particularly challenging because of the high value the LA culture places on sex. Given the high value of sex in LA, it is not uncommon to cross paths with a former lover, or past one-night stand encounter, especially if you live in a college town or small suburban community where everyone hangs out at pretty much the same places.

Wherever you hang, you’re bound to have or have had at least one one-night stand encounter. Whatever you do, always use protection and follow these five simple guidelines for one-night stand etiquette.

1. Always have an exit strategy in place. Never assume that you’re spending the night. Make sure to discuss the matter before hand if you feel you’re way too inebriated to drive. Arrange a ride home if necessary by calling a friend or a taxi.
2. If you stay the night, do yourself a favor and avoid that awkward next morning altogether by leaving at the crack of dawn or long before your partner wakes up. Besides, why stick around when you’ve got things to do, places to go and other people to see. Those who linger give one of three perceptions: a) you’re needy, b) you’re clingy or c) you have no life.
3. Absolutely no eye contact allowed during the deed. It’s just weird and awkward. Look at his bulging biceps, her beautiful bosoms or even your partners “O” face, but just don’t look each other in the eyes (at least not for a prolonged period of time). There’s really no need to create a false sense of intimacy with someone you’re probably never going to see again.
4. Don’t engage in pillow talk. Save that crap for a sleepover with your girlfriends. If actions really do speak louder than words, than I say shut your lips and let your bodies do all the talking.
5. Don’t bother exchanging phone numbers when parting ways. Skip the formality because you both know that the likelihood of you ever seeing each other again is slim to none. If you absolutely must exchange numbers (because the sex was just THAT good), then I suggest making it a weekend only thing or applying the repeat-delete principle.

If you follow these rules of etiquette, you can avoid potential awkwardness the next day. If you happen to cross paths in the future, feel free to smile or nod in acknowledgement if you must, but as far as you’re concerned, it never happened! Besides, most people take two approaches to re-encounters. You can take the high road, and pretend like you’re old friends, or you can take the low road, and pretend like you’re strangers who have never met. It’s really all up to you and your personal preference. Everyone has their own etiquettes or guidelines based on personal preferences, but these are the general basics.

It has been an interesting past couple of weeks. In just one week, I have been called “the Chuck Norris of dates,” one man’s “female doppelganger” and a “female Tom Leykis.” Last night, I was even called a female player. Awesome, although I’m hardly a player at all–I just crush a lot…

It’s so interesting to me the parallelism between my personal life and my professional life. After a long dry spell that lasted almost a year or so, I finally got my mojo back and all of a sudden almost every guy I’ve dated or tried to date has been hitting me up wanting to stay on my radar, no doubt. The funniest part is that the wave of text messages from exes started on the very night when I met a guy I actually liked for a change. In the middle of my first date with this guy, I got a drunk text message from a guy I dated for six months about two years earlier. The next day, I got another drunk text message from a different guy I dated for a few months last year. That same day, I got a text message from a guy from Virginia who I had a one-night stand with five years ago in Vegas. Later that week, I got another text message from a 21-year-old kid I was sleeping with on and off for a short while last year asking me if I was avoiding him since I never returned his phone call the week before. By the end of the week, I had two more eligible bachelors to consider. But none of them kept me as entertained (and interested!) as the first guy–I actually hang out with him three times in one week than I have ever done with anyone. Normally, I think that is total overkill, so clearly I like this guy and some of my typical dating rules have been thrown out the window since they are more like guidelines anyway. I took a chance on this guy, not really expecting to like him or him like me. Well see where it goes.

I forgot how much fun dating is especially now that I’ve set the stakes higher for myself. I know exactly what I want and any one of these eligible bachelors could be the one to give it to me. Ideally, I’d like to meet a man of his word, a man of action, a man of intellect and a man of heart all rolled into one. That’s not too much to ask for is it??

The fun part about the infamous dating game is not having a clue who I’ll end up with because you just never know especially since the ages of these men vary across the board from as young as 21 to as old as 35. I’m having a lot of fun learning more about my preferences and the qualities I look for in a man on integrity. So far, Player #1 is my favorite. His apparent “game” is totally on my same level. There are some things that I’d normally be turned off by, but he makes up for it in other ways I guess.

Coincidentally, I gave my third Toastmasters speech on Friday about my idea of how the dating game works. In my five minute speech, I talked about the three core elements of dating to help make dating fun–players, prize and playbook:

Players: Even though I may not be actively seeing any of these guys who texted me, they are all technically still eligible players in my book. Once you have player to work with, you need to determine your prize.

Prize: Your prize will generally fall into one of two categories: meaningless sex or a meaningful relationship. Ultimately, your prize would be whatever kind of relationship it is that you are looking for (friends with benefits, long term relationship, marriage and kids, etc.). It’s the relationship of your choice and on your terms.

Playbook: Everyone’s playbook is different and is usually made up of defensive moves if you’re a woman and offensive moves if you’re a man. For example, I employ a three date rule to help me determine whether a guy really likes me a not. If a man tries to sleep with me by the third date, he pretty much fails. For a guy, an offensive move would be perhaps a pickup line or something like that. It really varies from person to person.

Unfortunately, I’m all out of plays now. I never usually make it to date three before I never see a guy ever again. Now what? LoL.

Woke up this morning to find this in my inbox. It’s messages like these that remind me of why I do what I do no matter how crazy people think I am for sharing the daily truths that make up my so-called life.

I’m debating whether or not I should go back to school since it’s my only option as far as postponing my student loans, especially in light of news that Congress is planning on doubling the interest rate of student loans from 3.4 to 6.8 percent.

My two stafford loans have recently been consolidated as of this year, and I was able to successfully defer my payments until June or July under the notion that I’d be going back to school by then and could apply for an in-school deferment instead of a forbearance.

My two private loans, one with Wells Fargo and another with Citi Bank, however, are a different story. Back in November, right before the holidays, I asked for a six month forbearance. All they gave me was two. I was supposed to resume payments back in January for one of them and February for another. I am now almost 90 days past due on both of these loans. I need 90 more days before I can start making my payments again, but unfortunately, I only have about 30 more days before my accounts get escalated.

My dad tells me that they are going to sue me for my payments. So sue me. After all my bare necessities are paid for, I have nothing left but the clothes on my back and the food I sometimes go without because I have to make sure I have enough money to pay the IRS for back taxes.

Times are hard, so I’m glad that the student loan debt crisis is becoming bigger and bigger news. A colleague of mine recently sent me a link to a YouTube video of President Obama slow jamming the student loan debt news. I posted it on Facebook and a friend  of mine from high school commented that it was propaganda. Whatever you want to call it, the student loan debt issue is becoming a hot topic in politics as it is said to be the next big financial crisis since the housing market tanked.

But all I’m hearing is a bunch of chatter about stafford loans. What about private student loans? I’m really glad that the government decided to step in and take over all of the stafford loans from the banks, but that still leaves a bunch of defaulted student loans up in limbo. Sometimes, I think I have it way worse than most other post grads. The average student loan debt is around $23k, and I’m at about $98k last time I checked. They keep calling me and sending me letters and I keep calling them back telling them the same story…I need more time.

Last month, I started looking for new job opportunities to increase my income. I took a job in sales figuring I can increase my income through commissions, but I haven’t had too much luck just yet. I’m still getting a knack for this sales stuff. I also took a freelance blogging job that pays about $500 a month if I post at least three times a day and promote each post at least three times via Twitter. This job is my ticket. The only problem is, it only pays once a month and I only just started this one. My plan is to take that $500, split it in half and make a partial payment on both of my defaulting private loans so I can bring them back to current. I already called both lenders to tell them my plan and that I wouldn’t be able to make my first payment until June 1st.

They don’t give a shit.

Guide to the student loan debt issue.

Are you unhappy in your relationship? Needs not being met? Are you sick of how your boyfriend treats you, or maybe doesn’t treat you? Is your relationship a secret? Is he not willing to commit?

If the red flags of a dead-end relationship are screaming out to you, then it might be time to cut your losses and get out of the “minor leagues” so you can start dating in the “major leagues”. Cutting your losses refers to the realization that you’re in a relationship that’s going absolutely no where and then doing something about it.

After almost six years of the single life, I’ve found myself cutting my losses many a times. Sometimes I really liked the guy. Other times I didn’t. In either case scenario, cutting my losses involved five simple steps that anyone can take.

Step One: Admit defeat. They say that the first step to solving a problem is to first admit that you even have a problem. Sometimes, the first step can be the most difficult step to take. Some people stay in unsatisfactory relationships because they fear being alone or because it’s comfortable. For others, like myself, the thought of starting over with someone new can be downright frightening, especially after you’ve already invested the time going through that whole awkward getting-to-know-you phase.

Whatever the circumstances might be for you, you might be in complete denial of the fact that your relationship has no apparent future. In order to cut your losses, you have to first get past this minor hurdle and admit defeat already. What’s the point in being in a relationship with someone if it has no growth potential?

Step Two: Take action steps. Once you’re able to admit that you have lost in this particular game of love, you are officially ready to start taking action steps. This means creating an exit strategy, or a get-out plan. If you can handle it, you can always go cold-turkey, but for some, relationships can be like a drug; you get so addicted to them that it’s almost impossible to go cold-turkey on a relationship you’ve grown so comfortable with despite its apparent failure. I suggest you stop hanging out as much and limit your contact. If you’re living together, start looking for a new place and save up so you can move out.

Step Three: Build a web of support. Whatever your actions steps are, share your get-out plan with a few close friends who will be sure to keep you on track. Your friends will help you move on. They’ll help keep you busy. They’ll help you look for a new place and move out. They’ll offer you their couch if need be. They’ll screen your phone calls and messages. They’ll even help you with minor relapses when you want to screw the plan and go back to being in denial about the state of your dead-end relationship. This is probably the most important step of all. You need a solid web of support to help you with the next step.

Step Four: Stick to the plan. Whatever you do, stick to the plan. When you sense that you are deviating from the plan, refer to your web of support to help keep you on track.

Step Five: Get a hobby. Seriously. Instead of being depressed about being single again and having to start over with someone knew, embrace your newfound freedom to do the things that actually make you happy. Take up scrap booking. Take out your aggression at the batting cages. Start a journal documenting your recovery. Join a sports team. Something. Anything. If you’re lucky, you might stumble upon someone with your same interests who is actually worth your time. A hobby just might lead you to a better relationship with someone in the “major leagues” so it definitely can’t hurt the recovery process.

Follow these five simple steps and you’ll be well on your way to cutting your losses and moving on to a richer, more satisfying relationship.

I was recently assigned to write a story about the Swinger Lifestyle. For the sake of my own curiosity, I actually created profiles on a few different swinger websites. As if online dating alone wasn’t weird enough, this kind of online dating isn’t exactly one on one but two on one, as most of the people on these sites are looking for threesomes, or some girl on girl action that the boyfriend or husband can watch. It’s a sweet arrangement, if you ask me, for the men involved in these kind of relationships and for women like me who are complete commitment phobes. You get to have you cake and eat it too. The thing that interests me the most is the dynamic of these kinds of open relationships. What better way to observe the dynamics of a swinger relationship than to play the role of a “unicorn” and be that third party participant that enhances their sexual experiences? (A unicorn is a single female into the lifestyle as they are rare since most woman in the lifestyle are in a relationship). Not only will I get to enjoy myself, but I will also get to learn something new throughout the process. It’s actually a win-win double-whammy kinda of situation, if you ask me.

I know what some of you are thinking. What the hell, Niki. That’s so gross. First of all, since when was sex ever gross? Since when was girl on girl action considered gross? Since when was a threesome considered gross? Sex makes the world go round in more ways than one–evolutionary and even professionally if you can learn to harness the power of sex for career advancement. If you have ever read some of Napoleon Hills work, you will know exactly what I am talking about. Anywho, one surprising thing I am learning about the swinger community is not only how much open-minded they are, but they are actually smart, intelligent successful people who know what they want out of life and go after it. And they are after the same things I am after: a friends with benefits type of arrangement with an emphasis on friendship. It’s seems like personality plays a major factor in these relationships, and these couples want someone they can actually be friends with because the friends they meet through this questionable lifestyle will be open-minded friends who won’t shun them living “The Lifestyle” as many of them prefer to call it. Many of the people that have agreed to interview with me are people who have executive positions or high-profile jobs–or teaching jobs even–so they have to be discreet with their personal lives to avoid any repercussions that could potentially put their jobs at risk.

In my quest to experience more out of life, I decided to submerge myself into The Lifestyle. I actually met a couple online who contacted me and was interested in meeting without having viewed any of my photos. But I guess looks don’t really matter because it was all about my personality as it was portrayed in my profile. The chick had a nice body but I couldn’t see her face. She’s a 30 year old sagittarius with blue eyes. She’s taller than me and weighs about as much as I do. Her partner in crime is described as being over six feet tall with blond hair and green eyes. He’s almost 40 though. Hmm…I’d rather play with the girl since she’s closer to me in age than play with the guy, but I guess I don’t mind him watching. But then again, he does have green eyes and I am a huge sucker for green eyes since they are so rare compared to blue eyes. Either way, this couple sounded very fit and very attractive. I loved their personalities more than anything–very fun and adventurous and I want to meet those kind of people.

Anyway, I admitted to the couple that I didn’t know how this thing works since it wasn’t exactly your typical one-on-one online dating scenario with two of them and only one of me. So they told me that we would just meet for drinks and see if there is any chemistry. There is no pressure to do anything, just a meet and greet really to learn more about each other and see if we want to be friends. I was actually invited to have drinks with them this weekend, so we’ll see if I actually have the guts to follow through with this. Ironically, they gave me a 100% real seal of approval that shows up on my profile to let others in the community know that I am a real person. They haven’t even seen a picture of me at this point, mind you!? Like I said, we’ll see.

Now, I’m starting to realize why people have been calling me “Crazy Niki” since as far back as high school. It’s because I do random shit like this to entertain me. When you are as bored with your love life as a girl like me who works at least 60 hours a week, this is the kind of shit you do to get the kind of adventure and excitement in your life you aren’t really getting anywhere else. And in case some of you are wondering about my sexuality since I have indeed been single for six years, I’m totally straight. I definitely prefer cock. And being bi-playful does not make me, by any means, a lesbian. I am just a sexually liberal woman who is open-minded with her sexual experiences. I am very comfortable with my sexuality, but I also think that my free-spirited attitude toward sex and relationships definitely makes other people cringe because they may not be totally or as comfortable with their sexuality as I am with mine. I have yet to meet a man who sees eye to eye with me on sex and relationships. I know he’s out there. Who knows, maybe I’ll find him on a swingers website. Until then, I don’t see why I can’t have a little fun in the meanwhile and explore whether or not I even want a swinger relationship with someone… I’ll never really know unless I actually try it out.

I’ll be sure to keep you posted as I know that most of my loyal readers are actually single moms, women in long-term relationships or married people with children. I’ve actually had quite a few friends admit to me that they like living vicariously through me because I do all the things they are afraid to do themselves but have always been curious about or fascinated by. Shrug. I’m just me being me.