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I feel oddly cheated.
I feel oddly cheated out of a New Year’s kiss I was patiently waiting for since my last one in 2006.
I wasn’t planning on giving anyone a kiss for New Year’s this year. I didn’t even care if I got one or not. I was just happy to be out of the house and away from a computer. Besides, I was having way too much fun people watching as the oldest person in the room (but I look young so it’s not like anyone knew that). Even so, being at my friend’s house party was kind of surreal for me as feelings of college nostalgia began to resurface…
Suddenly, I was brought back to the room I was standing in as everyone around me started counting down to midnight along with the TV.
10…
9…
8…
7…
6…
5…
4…
3…
2…
1…
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When the clock struck midnight, and everyone started sharing midnight kisses and shouting “Happy New Years”, I felt my arm suddenly being jerked from behind me as someone I least expected turned me around like a ballerina and just nailed me with a kiss…
This was my first New Year’s kiss since 2006, and it kind of reminded me of my first kiss all over again at my freshman homecoming dance in high school–my body kind of just froze and tensed up because I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I hope no one is watching this, I thought to myself. Am I even kissing back, or is my tongue frozen too?
I couldn’t help but feel kind of cheated. That wasn’t exactly my ideal New Year’s kiss. I was hoping for more magic and sparks… and someone special who cared about me as much as I cared about them. Instead I got kissed by someone I had resolved not to kiss again any time soon–a boyish-looking 21-year-old I kinda/sorta seduced last summer when we were working together.
After he quit that job and moved away, I decided that I had my fun, and that my experiment with a younger guy was over. I also resolved not to initiate contact with him once he moved–an hour a way is just too far, so what’s the point in even trying? I figured he could just contact me if he really wanted to see me again. (He did, rather sporadically).
Besides, if he was somehow meant to be part of my life in any way, shape or form, it would happen in it’s own time and place. You can’t really force these kinds of things because when you do, things almost always never work out, ya know. I rather just let come what may, and allow nature to take it’s natural course. I truly believe that everything in life happens for a reason. We may not understand those reason’s right away, but the reasons are still there left for us to discover on our own when the timing is right.
Anyways, long story short, this super cute guy I totally had the hots for (still do, not gonna lie) kept asking me if I was free to “hang out” for about a week right before Christmas, but he seemed to keep blowing me off when it came right down to it. He was hot, then he was cold…just like the Katy Perry song. It didn’t really bother me at first because I was always busy anyways, but the last time he blew me off was kind of the final straw for me, and I decided to drop him from my line up card–for the same exact reason I dropped the Invisible Capricorn earlier last year. (Ironically, Cappy tried to make a come back this past November; I told him I’d call him the next time I was feeling frisky–and then I deleted his number).
So, it’s becoming more and more apparent to me that a lot of people don’t really know the difference between a Friends With Benefit arrangement, and a Booty Call arrangement. I tried to explain things to Cappy the second time around, but he really didn’t play his cards right. That’s going to be a whole other blog post though (coming soon to a Web browser near you).
I’m okay with being a Friend With Benefit. I am not, however, okay with being a Booty Call. Here’s the way I see things: First of all, FWBs are considered first string players in the game of love or lust; BCs, on the other hand, are considered, second string players. Second of all, if I am going to do YOU a favor and fuck YOU whenever YOU want, I best be getting something back in return. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours–that’s what friends do. So, if you don’t want to reciprocate what I give you, or fuck ME whenever I want, then you can very well go get it from somewhere else because that’s not how things work with me. You see…
I’m creating a dating league of my own in search of an MVP, and if any of my players don’t want to play by MY rules, then they are either going to get suspended or kicked out of my league.
This guy may have stolen my prized New Year’s kiss, but he sure as hell won’t steal my pride and dignity along with it.
Maybe this stolen midnight kiss of mine is a blessing in disguise designed to bring me to a higher sense of awareness to the odd coincidences and idiosyncrasies that make up my so-called life. After all, it IS said that a kiss at the strike of midnight ensures a year of happiness and success. If there is indeed any truth to this superstition, then this is the year I finally stop talking about my book and start writing my book already: “You Are Who You Date: How to Create Your Own Dating League, Build An All-Star Team and Find Your MVP.”
It’s a self-help dating book I’ve been slowly putting together over the past year, primarily for myself, but also for singles who hate playing games. After all, that’s kind of how I became a dating blogger. I absolutely hated dating because there were all these rules that no one ever told me about. And it sucks playing a game when you don’t even know the rules of the game–how do you even win? I started blogging about my frustrations with men and dating, and I eventually discovered that if you really want to win the game of love (or lust), it all starts with YOU by creating your own dating league and your own rules of engagement. If someone likes you, he or she will play along, or get lost. It kind of makes for a great filtering system…just saying.
Aside from learning the basics, the first step to creating your own dating league is finding what I like to call your Home Base (which I will talk about in a future blog post). Check. The next step to creating your own dating league is to start a Dating Draft.
Since a whole new year is upon us, and I am a whole new evolved me, I decided that this year I’m going to start with a clean slate and a fresh roster. This year, I’m setting the stakes higher and upping my ante.
This year, I aim to step up my game in an effort to make better relationship decisions, which means dropping the minor league daters, and recruiting the majors and the all-stars, while helping others do the same.
Let the dating draft begin!
